its 60F outside. which is incredible.
i went to bed early last night, woke up at 7am and did laundry.
i know it sounds terrible, "ew, who wants to wake up early to do laundry?!"
but it was fantastic. i love when all my clothing is clean,
and there wasn't anyone in the basement which means i could take up all the washers and dryers i wanted (laundry's free). so my clothes dried in half the time. no waiting for kids to come and take their clothes out of the machines. ^-^ life is good.
i wanted to put out there how infatuated i am with the idea of writing a book. i was standing outside the other morning, smoking a cigarette. i really find english a more elegant language than math. i know chemistry and physics are important, they help one understand reality. but i never wanted to have to take math in college. i just decided to be a bio major, and it fit so well. but i had a terrible chem background in highschool, and it kind makes this year sucky. Anyway, i was just standing outside, embracing the warmth of the sun with my eyes closed and earbuds in. i noticed all the little kids literally skipping and running into Gompers (neighboring elementary school to my university). and i just thought, 'hey, this is beautiful, if i can reminisce just looking at these kids, i damn well could write a book. not many people have a perspective like mine. not many people witness what i witness on a daily basis. i never see anyone have their solo time with a cigg and an open mind.' really, i think it's kind of similar to playing a particular piano piece, my hands just float above the keys and apply the slightest amount of pressure, conveying my feeling. i feel like that's how writing would be. obviously it takes practice and focus. but beautiful and satisfying.
i know i have these "hobbies" such as reading, piano, drawing, and now blogging. but i convinced myself that career wise i should use my brain, help work toward another scientific revolution, find solutions to major problems, be a pundit for fixing things that most of humanity neglects. but i just have this urge to write, not do math and chemistry. *sigh. i really think i want to work for the eden project at some point in my life. i love botany. i kind of just want to take the environmental science route and do the pcalc and chemistry in my own time, when i can put in the effort i know that the subject deserves. because i really do think chemistry is the most important thing i'm learning, and it deserves respect.
i suppose its time to ponder what im good at and what i have a passion for. because i know i can't accomplish monumental things without calculus and chemistry. all the ideas of inventions and solutions i have could never be enacted.
im afriad i'm not sure what i want at this point. and that goes for a lot of things.
the backwards: they are all individuals. all lost, they are social to make connections with people. out of desperation. for reasons that aren't worth two shits. (they can also be "successful" but if the forward or spinners defined it, it would be a false sense of success.)
the forward: also individuals. but the mold they've created for themselves is permanent. they're intelligent. accomplished. successful. they laid the foundation of today. true intellects, but they see too much of the world in black and white. props to them for expanding the realm of the binary.
the spinners: a whole new kind of collective.
all i know is the majority is moving backwards, few have moved forward. ill be content with spinning around, throwing everyone off, sitting down and laughing at it all. and the backwards will pretend like it never happened, the forward will shake their heads, and those that laugh will see the world through one eye. we will change things, and we'll have a more dynamic experience than the rest.
this song is called snow& taxis by gold panda. marriage is also a song you should give a listen (:
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